No Good Deed…

A few weeks ago, we were waiting outside a Little Caesars for our pizza to be ready when Curtis and I were approached by a homeless man.

(And of course, the bundles we had just made were at my place instead of in our cars 🤦‍♀️ )

He asked if we had any money, but we didn’t have any cash on us. I gave him the 41 cents in my wallet and we told him to wait with us for our pizza so we could give him some.

He was cold and asked if we had a blanket, and Curtis gave him one out of his car. When our order was finally ready, we gave him a piece of pizza, bought him some crazy bread, and then I went back to buy him some water to make sure he was hydrated.

The water was TWO DOLLARS AND NINETEEN CENTS. That’s more than a two liter of name brand soda from the grocery store! And this was just one little bottle! I was so annoyed! But I put my penny pincher mind on pause because this wasn’t about me. I took the water out to him, but since we had given him so much stuff (pizza slice, blanket, bread, water bottle) he couldn’t carry it all and was using the trash can lid to balance everything when… the water bottle fell in the trash can!!!!

For reference, the trashcan looked like:

photo courtesy of the Google images

The man told me to forget about it, but that bottle was $2.19! I wasn’t letting that go to the trash! So I piled everything in Curtis’s arms to hold while I tipped over the trash can to go trash crawling for the water bottle. Of course, as I did that, I looked down and my loose glasses, aided by the fabric from my mask, slid off my face and onto the ground. As I stepped back to look for them, trash can still in hand, I stepped on my glasses. And they broke in three pieces. Then Curtis showed me that I could’ve just… taken the lid off the trashcan instead of immediately becoming a rabid racoon.

nice eh?

I told the story to my roommate when I got back to my apartment and she laughed and said “no good deed goes unpunished.” I figured that was a pretty fitting moral of the story.

I’m learning that if you really want to help people, it’s going to be inconvenient. You’re going to have to be a little selfless sometimes and part with things that you don’t want to lose, like the spare blanket you keep in your car, or a piece of the hot and READY pizza that took 20 minutes for the staff to make, or TWO WHOLE DOLLARS and nineteen cents. It’s sometimes going to come at the cost of your pride, as you learn that the ways you help maybe aren’t best for the needs of those you’re helping. It’s going to come at the cost of knowing that you will never be able to do enough to help everyone who needs it. But, in my experience, it will also come with the feeling that it’s a worthwhile fight.

I think Elphaba had some merit when she said that no good deed goes unpunished, but I don’t think I share the same bitterness about the sentiment. The superglued glasses that I now wear daily help me see “good deeds” in a different way. It’s no longer about warm fuzzies that happen after I give someone something — it’s about the way my heart breaks for people who can’t catch a break. And how it’s not “nice” of me to give what I can, it’s literally my responsibility as a neighbor, a friend, and a Christian. And responsibilities are not always easy. Or fun. Or convenient. Or rewarded.

Maybe not all good deeds go unpunished… but I’m willing to take the risk.

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Glamris Life of a Grad

So, for someone who’s motto for the latter half of college was “C’s get degrees,” guess who got a 4.0?!?

Not me.

But someone, I’m sure.

But heck I got OUT OF THERE! I wore the cap and gown, wore some hecka high high heels (that I still have scabs from two weeks later #worthit) and I walked across that stage and shook some random peoples’ hands. I honestly can’t tell you who ANY of those people were–they could have put a garbage man in robes and I would have acted like he was the VIP. and THEN, the kicker, my mom took a video of me walking across stage and she thought I was the person behind me on the stairs, so she zoomed in on that girl, but it looked like she was just zooming STRAIGHT IN on my butt. So that was cool, she posted it on Facebook and tagged me in it, so that was enjoyed by all.

But anyway, the post grad life (for a week) has been SWEET. The day after graduating, I went out to a campsite and burned ALL the papers from my senior year.

And then I went to Utah to hang for a bit before coming home and realizing…

I don’t know what I’m doing now.

So there it is. For all you people who are like “hey what are you doing now that you’re done with college?” I haven’t thought that far, k?

So then I saw a post on my singles ward Facebook page and it called for physical laborers (vague… very vague) and I thought “well I’m real weak but I need money” so I call the guy and it turns out he sands…water slides. So I’ve been spending the week in various parts of the state on waterless water slides sanding them down so that the outer gel coat comes off. And when it comes off, guess where it goes? ALL OVER ME. So I’ve been a smurf and a yellow-bellied sneech so far on this journey. 

I actually went into the bathroom of the neighboring golf course on a lunch break to clean up and this lady saw me and, after doing  a double take, she goes “what are you wearing all over you??” As if I chose that particular fashion to go out and golf in.

“oh, you know…just last season’s shade of water slide.”

The worst part about it is that it gets all up in my eyes and everything is covered in sand dust so I can’t wipe my eyes and so I just have to turn off my sander and cry in the middle of the water slide for a minute until I can see again. What a metaphor for my life though, right?

And of course, I am probably going to kill myself by doing this because I wreck myself so easily. I have already sliced my finger, ripped through my jeans and cut my knee, bruised up my knees and elbows, and then I FELL OFF the slide right on my back and now I walk like an old man. Which old man? My dad, to be exact. I limp like I’m a sixty-year old with a recent knee replacement.

And as if that isn’t bad enough for my image, I decided to get a haircut. I have never liked my hair short, but I got this perm a few years ago that never fell out completely, so I’ve been chopping it out, and I wanted to finish the job. Then I thought I might get bangs while I’m at it cuz why not. So I’m telling the lady that and she’s like “oh, like a Chinese lady haircut?” and it’s too late to back out now so I’m like “…yeeeah…” thinking that it’s not like my face is very Chinese-looking so it’s not going to look that Chinese. And I was right. I don’t look Chinese. I look like freakin Will Byers from Stranger Things.

Tbh, I really do think it’s a terrible cut, but I’m so beyond caring. I think it’s hilarious. And thankfully it doesn’t look too bad if I pin back my bangs or put my hair up.

So that is my post grad life so far. Lookin like a 12 year-old boy, walkin like a 60 year-old man, and covered in random colored water slide gel coating. #noragrets

Stay tuned, the heckfest is only beginning.